Only now I finally realized the importance and presence of a constant balance in my life. You can call it anything you want – a black and white stripe; a Zebra; a roller coaster, and so on. For me, this is the natural balance. Any emotional outburst is accompanied by an inner emptiness, you just don’t know when it will appear. There should be harmony in everything. And then there is a creative burnout that can’t be controlled.
There exist only one advantage. When you get out of this impasse, you start to appreciate every second that you can devote to your life . So that you avoid from looking at your phone like an addicted all day . I study every day, do my homework every day, and try to improve my skills every day. And when I think, ” Why am I doing this at all ? Who will need it ?” I can’t answer this question, and I start to wind myself up, furiously trying to find the answer. It is easy to find the answer, however, nobody has an answer key to check it. This limbo could be the thing that makes us tired.
So today, after a week of training and working marathon, sleep for 4 hours and an absolute lack of rest, I do not understand why. Again, I reassure myself that any knowledge may be needed, that it will somehow pay back to me, at least my internal discipline. Again in a circle, I feel pain, for a reason which I do not understand. I feel it, feel the reason.However, I can’t find it and solidify it. I try to pull it out of the depths of my mind and feelings at the same time, calling words in my thoughts in turn that can cause pain, but nothing responds. The reason is unknown, but it’s easier for me.
Song of the text : https://youtu.be/MpVCx-SBGOs
More abstract : https://www.afterclap.net/category/abstract/